Graceful Character (When God Says No)

Have you ever had that wonderful experience of God saying No to your prayers? The proverbial door being closed or sometimes even slammed in your face when you had your heart set on going through? After offering to serve in the worship team at church and being rejected, a wise preacher told me, (while I was tearing my heart out trying to understand why) that God is more interested in my character than what I think I can do for Him. It changed my whole perspective on the situation.

I was 19 then and that lesson has helped through several other times when the Lord has asked me to set some really strong boundaries in my life or asked me to lay down certain activities I thought I was doing for Him. I’ve come to love Romans 5:3-4 that says we can rejoice and be happy when we run into problems and trials because we know they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character and character strengthens our hope of salvation (NLT version).

But why is character so important after all? Why is it more important than being happy, than fulfilling our dreams or by doing things that make us feel good? I thought Christ came to set us free so why do we still have to give things up or stop doing things we like – even Godly things like serving in church? It doesn’t make sense.

I think it has something to do with the verses that precede those wonderful ones in Romans 5. Here is verse 2:

 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege (Grace) where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. (NLT)

 

I believe that God has granted us an incredible privilege to live by faith, to stand under grace. I also believe that to live by grace successfully takes strength of character.

Let me explain:

The are two extremes of behaviour that Christians can fall into (or deliberately walk in) as a response to the Grace- legalism or lethargy. I have found myself wandering into each of these pathways in the last few years. Legalism is fuelled essentially by fear. It's the sin of the Pharisee who was so passionate and determined to do the right thing that they were terrified of ever doing the wrong thing. Therefore anything that even closely resembled the wrong thing or was once used by someone who once did the wrong thing... (you get the idea) was banned from their lives. One example of this Paul admonishes in 1 Corinthians 2:9-11 when the Christians began to disassociate themselves from non-Christians for being sexually immoral.

Legalism is a massive issue that takes many forms but the bottom line is that it's a trap that prevents us from living under grace and steals the joy that comes with Grace!

The other extreme is to abuse God's grace and use it as Paul describes later in the chapter, as an excuse for unrighteousness (i.e. to do anything we like regardless of whether it is right or wrong). I liken this kind of behaviour to living in the house of a rich person. Imagine you were in a foreign country and your passport and money had been stolen. With no where to sleep or turn to, a generous rich family allows you to stay with them and gives you free access to all areas of their house -  the bedroom, the kitchen the media room. There is a maid who will clean up your mess and a valet to dress you with clothes from the rich family's wardrobe. Paradise! 

Abusing God's grace is like going out from that house, getting all muddy and then walking that mud through the house with the excuse that the maid will clean it up so it doesn't matter. And the valet will clean my clothes so I don't need to mind about getting dirty. Yes, God will clean up your messes and cover you with his righteousness over and over again but what does that say about you and your character? God grace and His character don't change so He will always love you, forgive you when you say sorry and give you another chance. He can't seem to help himself He just loves us that much! But what does that say about YOUR character? It says your self-centred, undisciplined, disrespectful, unloving, unkind... is that really who we want to be?

You see, God longs to give us freedom but he knows that if we are to handle that freedom and still be a loving, kind, righteous person who will love God and others as themselves and who will lead others to Him we need strength of character.

So how do we get strength of character so that we can enjoy this freedom of living under grace while still remaining attractive to God, ourselves and others? Back to Romans 5 again: problems and trials. Like facing rejection and loss and yet still loving the Lord and trusting Him with your life, believing He will work it out for good. (Romans 8:28). Like accepting with Joy the closed door in front of you, trusting it is for the best.

The younger we are in our faith, the stronger the boundaries seem to be. Like a good parent, He trusts us more as more as we grow. He may say No to some of our prayers or ask us to give something up for a while even though it is something you love. Even if it is something good and worthwhile.

Why?

Because He is working on our character.

Why?

So that we can walk in freedom, stand in Grace and yet still remain attractive. So that we can experience the joy of our salvation and not live in fear. So that when we get the chance to live our dreams, we won't bring shame or disgrace to God but will be a shining star, showing others the way to Jesus.