Looking back, how do I measure the success of seven years?
Have we achieved the dreams that we thought the Lord had placed on our hearts here? Certainly not. If I wrote a 'to do' list seven years ago I'm sure only a few of the things would be ticked off. And the grief of knowing that has been hard.
A few months ago, a friend gave us three scriptures that I didn't understand at the time but now I think I understand what the Lord wants me to learn from them. One of them was:
Micah 6:6-10
With what shall I come before the Lord,
And bow myself before the High God?
Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings,
With calves a year old?
Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
Ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
And bow myself before the High God?
Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings,
With calves a year old?
Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
Ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
If I could be allowed to paraphrase, it would go like this:
"What have I done here in New Zealand that will impress you, my Lord?
Is it the time and overtime I put in with my work for YWAM and the Church?
Will you be pleased with all the newsletters I wrote or the holiday programmes Johnny ran?
Did you like it when I let my relationships slide because I was busy doing Your work?
No. The Lord has shown me the yard-stick with which to measure my life.
Have I acted justly, done the right thing and stood up for the right thing? Kept my integrity and my promises to others?
Have I shown mercy to those who need it at every given opportunity? Have I forgiven instead of wanting revenge?
Have I walked humbly with my Lord through the ups and the downs, the hardships and the highlights? Have I stayed close to Him and given up the flashy impressive accomplishments in order to follow His gentle nudging and still small voice?"
We have not left behind us anything flashy that would seem like a mark of success to us or the rest of the world but that is not how God measures success. It's obedience, not sacrifice that God loves (1 Samuel 15:22-23 and Hebrews 10:5-7). What does that mean? I think it means this: sometimes we can spend (or dream of spending) huge efforts building something great for God that everyone will see and hear about. That is what Saul did when he made a sacrifice to God without waiting for the prophet nor listening to the word of God. He thought a big display of man-made glory would most reflect the glory of God and bring His pleasure. But he was wrong. All he did was try to prove himself - to protect his own authority because he was afraid everyone else would stop believing in him if he didn't. All he did was lose his authority and his children's inheritance.
God forbid I would put my trust in big flashy acts of sacrifice that impress others but destroy my closest relationships, especially with my children. No longer will I grieve for the dreams I once thought were the measure of a successful seven years in New Zealand. Instead I hope and pray that I have done, to the best of my ability, what the Lord requires of me.
What is it the Lord requires of us? To Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly with your God.
That is the yardstick the Lord uses to measure a life.
