Leaving The Land of the Long White Cloud

It was exactly seven years ago today, the 8th October (our first wedding anniversary), that we stepped onto the plane to leave our home country for seven years.

Looking back, how do I measure the success of seven years?

Have we achieved the dreams that we thought the Lord had placed on our hearts here? Certainly not. If I wrote a 'to do' list seven years ago I'm sure only a few of the things would be ticked off. And the grief of knowing that has been hard.

A few months ago, a friend gave us three scriptures that I didn't understand at the time but now I think I understand what the Lord wants me to learn from them. One of them was:

Micah 6:6-10

With what shall I come before the Lord,
And bow myself before the High God?
Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings,
With calves a year old?
Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
Ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

 

 

If I could be allowed to paraphrase, it would go like this:

"What have I done here in New Zealand that will impress you, my Lord?

Is it the time and overtime I put in with my work for YWAM and the Church?

Will you be pleased with all the newsletters I wrote or the holiday programmes Johnny ran?

Did you like it when I let my relationships slide because I was busy doing Your work?

No. The Lord has shown me the yard-stick with which to measure my life.

Have I acted justly, done the right thing and stood up for the right thing? Kept my integrity and my promises to others?

Have I shown mercy to those who need it at every given opportunity? Have I forgiven instead of wanting revenge?

Have I walked humbly with my Lord through the ups and the downs, the hardships and the highlights? Have I stayed close to Him and given up the flashy impressive accomplishments in order to follow His gentle nudging and still small voice?"

 

 

We have not left behind us anything flashy that would seem like a mark of success to us or the rest of the world but that is not how God measures success. It's obedience, not sacrifice that God loves (1 Samuel 15:22-23 and Hebrews 10:5-7). What does that mean? I think it means this: sometimes we can spend (or dream of spending) huge efforts building something great for God that everyone will see and hear about. That is what Saul did when he made a sacrifice to God without waiting for the prophet nor listening to the word of God. He thought a big display of man-made glory would most reflect the glory of God and bring His pleasure. But he was wrong. All he did was try to prove himself - to protect his own authority because he was afraid everyone else would stop believing in him if he didn't. All he did was lose his authority and his children's inheritance.

 

God forbid I would put my trust in big flashy acts of sacrifice that impress others but destroy my closest relationships, especially with my children. No longer will I grieve for the dreams I once thought were the measure of a successful seven years in New Zealand. Instead I hope and pray that I have done, to the best of my ability, what the Lord requires of me.

 

What is it the Lord requires of us? To Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly with your God.

 

That is the yardstick the Lord uses to measure a life.

How Skydiving is like Faith...

I have so many thoughts I hope they tumble out in order...!

So as I'm strapped to a total stranger in a tiny pink aeroplane climbing steadily to 15,000 over the biggest lake in New Zealand I'm thinking of all the spiritual points I can make out of this! Jumping out of an aeroplane strapped to someone else is like....

...like faith! Taking a leap of faith is scary but you're strapped to God so what could possibly go wrong? There's no room for human error or parachute malfunction when it's God you're strapped to. Point one. Off we go.

Jumping out of the aeroplane is like faith... but I really didn't do the jumping, I just willingly submitted to the person in charge, followed the instructions to 'Be the Banana' (head looking up, hips forward and knees bent) and the expert did all the hard work while I just enjoyed the ride. Faith in God is like that, we really don't do too much of the hard work when we submit and trust His expertise. Point two. Getting there.

The anticipation is the scary part, the actual falling is awesome. Exhilarating. Overwhelming and surreal. It's the anticipation of seemingly crazy acts of faith that is the part where it could all go wrong before it's even started. That was the part where I prayed like crazy, quoted scripture verses in my head like 'my peace I give to you ... a peace that passes all understanding - John 14:27' and sang 'Thank You Jesus' songs under my breath to keep the fears from reaching into my mind and taking hold. That's exactly like faith - prayer, worship and the Word are three powerful tools to keep the fear of any walk of faith at bay. They fill your mind with all the right stuff when all the wrong stuff is trying so desperately to get access and control over your thoughts. Point three. We're flying now!

And His peace came - the fall was so peaceful. I forgot I was strapped to anyone and felt like I was flying through the air on my own - till the bloke pulled the parachute, that is! The view was spectacular. The ground was so far away I felt like I could reach out and touch it. Does that make sense?

Once I was falling, the fear was completely gone. It wasn't scary, it was cool. Jesus describes the enemy as a toothless lion - the roar is the fear that paralyses us when in reality, there is no bite. Get past the roar and you're laughing! Point four.

My fantastic, darling husband, bought me the skydive for my birthday. He knew I wanted to do it. He knew I'd regret it if I didn't do it. I had come home one day from a 3 hour walk and announced it was time for an 'exclamation mark' in the story of my life. But it was a bit scary. Even after He bought it for me I put off booking it. And even when I booked it I didn't tell anyone cuz thinking about it was a bit scary. I consoled myself with the fact that it was only going to be 9,000ft.

So when I turned up and they said for an extra $10 I could do 12,000 I loved my husband even more for saying yes before the fear in me could say no!

Then, at 5,000ft up the instructor tells me there's not enough fuel to let some of us off at 12,000 and some of us off at 15,000 so we are all going to go 15,000! Nearly double what I had expected. I've found that faith is a bit like that too - when you take one step in the direction God is calling you, you find so much more than you expected! Both the scary and the awesome. Point five.

There are some of you reading who have never done a skydive and never will. There are those who might one day, those who have done it once and those who do it over and over and over again. I reckon now I've done it once, I could do it again and again and again. Next time I expect not to be as fearful and to enjoy the ride even more. That's like faith too. One step is all it takes and then you take more and more and more. Point six: The fear shrinks and the enjoyment grows.

I hope I get more chances to test that theory.

The art of remembering

Have you ever felt like you have failed and let God down and you can't see how you can ever live the life He meant for you again?

I've often been praised or complimented on my unshakable faith in God but this year I learned that even my faith is shakeable and there was a time when I began to doubt whether God was really going to come through for us and make a way where there was no way.

Then I knew I'd really blown it. Even if He was going to come through for us He wouldn't now I'd doubted Him! I'd failed a test of faith and I saw myself relegated to a second-rate life of the ordinary and mundane without any of the extraordinary of God that I had come to expect.

What got me back on track?

The art of remembering.

It sounds so simple but I thought back to the many, many occasions I have seen God miraculously guide me, provide for me, love me and speak to my heart. How He changed my heart to prepare me for the most incredible husband. How he called me to live a life devoted to Him and the ways in which I've been used to be a part of others lives - many of these I'll never know but many I am privileged to know and see.

God began something in me and He never starts something that he doesn't finish. (Philippians 1:6). If God bothered to begin something, if He spent so much love and energy on me back then - surely He wasn't going to let that all go to waste and give up on me now? Definitely not.

The truth of 2 Timothy 2:13 really is incredible!
"If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself."

So think back - how much has God invested in you? How many times has he answered a prayer, spoke to you from the scriptures or encouraged you through a friend?

Remember. Make a list in your mind. And remember an awesome truth I recently learned form some very dear Christian mentors: "A Christian never fails a test; the just get tested again and again till they pass."